Friday, September 7, 2018

What They DON'T Tell You About Having Kids

Parenthood brings a lot of learning with it. And you’ll find that before your journey, a lot of people will prep you on some of the things they have found when they have had children. As soon as you show signs of being an expectant mother, it’s not unusual to have had dozens - if not hundreds - of kind words and advice given to you before you give birth. 

But let’s be serious for a moment. The stuff people tell you is pretty much all the same. There is a lot that no one covers, for one reason or another, and there are still plenty of things you will find out later on down the line, which may well end up surprising you - and not in a good way. With this in mind, here are some of the things they DON’T tell you about having kids.

Via pexels















Pregnancy is long. And very, very messy

The pregnant women you see in adverts are amazing. They look like they are having the time of their lives, and nothing seems to get in the way of them enjoying life as they did six, seven, or eight months earlier. The trouble is, these women don’t exist. And if you knew one in real life, you’d probably want to strangle them. 

The reality of having a human growing inside you is that they get big. They get uncomfortable. And they move - a lot - and in doing so move parts of you with them. Things are going to squirt. Things are going to poke out where they shouldn’t. Everything’s going to hurt. If that sounds gross, painful or uncomfortable … well, it is.  


Babies are pretty gross, actually.

Nothing beats the feeling of giving birth and connecting with your child for the first time - it’s magical. It’s still magical when you get home, too. And when you take them for their first walk in the stroller, when they start seeing the world around them, and when they start to form a smile … it’s all beautiful. 

But let’s be honest. The vast majority of the time with your baby your life will consist of clearing up drool, vomit, poop, and all kinds of bodily fluids you didn’t even know existed. Your beautiful newborn will probably develop several of the multitude types of baby skin rashes that will cover them from head to toe at some point, so expect a lot of flaking skin amongst other things. And by the time they start to eat solids, ‘cute’ will be a term far, far from your mind. 

Everyone’s an expert.

As we discussed earlier, everyone will be giving you advice as you approach your pregnancy date. But you can expect that advice from family, friends, and even strangers to continue - for many years. Even if you’ve had five, six or seven kids, you can guarantee to bump into someone who is willing to impart some ‘helpful’ advice.

Now, advice should always be welcome. But the reality is that when you are out shopping, and the kid or kids are screaming, it doesn’t really set the mood for receiving parenting tips from strangers. And they will give them by the bucketload.

Your life will change.

Everyone expects their life to change once they have kids, but you don’t know how it will change until it actually happens. You’ll lose a lot of freedom - and a lot of time together with your partner. 

This can be a little overwhelming - and you can easily see why so many parents end up splitting up at some point. The exhaustion, worry (more on that in a moment) and lack of sleep will make you age super fast. Your relationship is likely to suffer some kind of strain, no matter how strong your bond is. To get through, communication and teamwork are both critical - your battles are best fought together. 

You will NEVER stop worrying.

The whole process of having children is a worry. You will be fearful before you have your baby, and terrified when you take them home. You will worry about feeding them the wrong food, and where they can go when they start crawling.

You’ll be suspicious of the nursery your kids go to. You will be petrified of how they will get on at school. You will vet their friends - and their friend’s parents. You’ll be scared about boyfriends, girlfriends, college, finances, employment opportunities, husbands, wives, and grandchildren. And so on it goes - for the rest of your life. But ultimately, you will love it. 

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